Every now and then Fridays remind me of where I once was and the freedom that I now experience.
Let me explain. When I had a scale (it’s been over a year now that I threw it away!), I would weigh in on Friday morning. EVERY FRIDAY MORNING my heart would pound a little harder as I went to take my shower after a workout and prepared to step on the scale.
First I must confess this: I’d never miss a Friday workout. In fact, Friday morning HAD to be a hard workout so it would help the weigh in. Big race on Saturday? So what. Still gotta run for an hour Friday morning, because I have to weigh. Injured? Oh well. Still gotta go work up a good sweat.
And then I’d weigh. Hopefully, it was good and therefore I was good. If it was bad, then so was I and I’d be bummed, maybe cry, mope the rest of the day, google more ways to lose weight, etc. But eventually, I’d say “what the heck”, whether the scale was good or bad. I’d go ahead and eat whatever over the weekend. (Of course, I’d do my long run or race on Saturday, so that would help a bit with calories….and a bit of the guilt.)
And then Monday came. Back to restriction and white-knuckling as I recovered from the weekend plus tried to lose more weight in the process.
And so the cycle would go. I’m sure you understand. Maybe you’re in that cycle now. It’s no way to live. There is no freedom.
And this cycle went on for a very long time. Years in fact!
Finally, I threw away the scales. (How I arrived at that is another story for another day.) Then what? Was it the weekend every day? Or was it Monday every day for fear that I couldn’t manage my weight without the weekly weigh in?
I’m not going to lie. There was an adjustment period. I had swings both ways. Some days I operated in the “it’s the weekend!” (even if it was Tuesday!) mode. Other days I feared I’d end up ballooning to a weight I’d never known so I restricted and over-exercised.
But eventually, I found balance. I’ve learned about moderation and how I can apply it safely to my life to maintain a healthy level of activity as well as a healthy body.
And I’ve learned my boundaries. It’s not a number on the scale that tells me my boundaries but it’s how my body feels with exercise and nutrition. It tells me when I need to clean up my nutrition or when I need to back off my workouts or when I need to get more sleep.
Listening to my body and honoring it is a practice. I don’t get it right every day. But then, every day is different. I have learned to be more present in my body and in each phase of life.
No more weigh-ins. No more Friday stress. And guess what? I’ve not popped a button or busted a zipper. I haven’t had to get rid of any clothes because I no longer fit into them.
Sometimes Friday comes and goes and I don’t even recognize the day. But other times I admit that I still have some of those same feelings that I had when I weighed in. Now it just makes me appreciate the journey and how far I’ve come.My Journey to Ditching The Scale: a guest post by @marshaapsley #sweatpink Click To Tweet
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